Animal

On reflection, i have come to the conclusion that whilst i hated the Masai Mara, it wasn't the Mara as such, but, rather, the human behavior there. The radio contact was a major irritant for me, but I have also realised that what really made it so bad was the fact that there were no limits. Although there were some Roads and tracks, in general terms the guides pretty much drove wherever they wanted. If something was spotted off the road by a few hundred metres, they would instantly drive cross-country to get closer, and thus like students to free-beer, would act as a magnet for yet more vehicles to arrive from all angles.

In the Serengeti (which translates as Endless plains), however, everybody stayed strictly on the marked roads and paths, and radio contact was much more minimal – indeed there were several different networks depending on which larger group they were associated with, and so far fewer people to actually spot things and announce what and where. Plus the distances involved and spread of vehicles mean't that it generally wasn't even practical to head to a sighting, even if it sounded really good.

And so the 24hours we had in the Serengeti were significantly more enjoyable for me. After arriving around 3pm, we drove around for about 3hours before heading to camp, and got almost unbelievably lucky. First, we saw a large rock (that's how lucky we were – an elusive rock!) which apparently has some relevance to somebody standing on it and singing in the film the Lion King which is set in the Serengeti, although having not seen the film it didn't make such an impression on me.

But then, and almost without making much in the way of effort or diversion, we came across...

This pride of Lions was happily sunning itself on a big rock. Two more lions were about 50metres away on another rock

And then this couple...

Lion sex is an interesting thing. It is relatively quick, but apparently it is repeated every 15-25minutes for 3whole days to ensure that pregnancy is assured. What state either of them is in after 3days of constant humping is anybodies guess. The female here also has a collar with a GPS which enables her to be tracked by the rangers as part of a project to collect data on lion movements within the Serengeti

Followed by this lovely family...

These guys were barely a few metres off the road and we almost passed them without noticing. I won't say much else except to say, damned, aren't those babies so cute!

and finally this elusive fellow...

In comparison to the one in the Masai, this leopard was given much more room and respect and was not crowded at all. It actually felt like an achievement when we spotted him, and it somehow also felt much more natural

And all that is without mentioning the hoardes of wildebeest, buffalo and zebra, the antelopes, hippos and occasional elephant and giraffe. By the time we set up camp (though on a campsite, we were in no way fenced off from the animals and were at the mercy of any curious or hungry creature) we were all very happy with the days events. At the campsite, there was no electricity or water, we were in canvas tents and the sky was brilliantly star filled. I loved it!

The following day we headed out for an early morning drive, and came across another leopard, were charged by a huuuuuge elephant, watched what we thought was going to be a lion attack – a male lion was stalking 2lionesses and some cubs with intent – but ended up in a happy family reunion, a cheetah, some families of elephant and lots of what I am now classing as 'standard' animals. It's amazing how you start glossing over certain animals, such as zebra and buffalo, which to begin with are amazing sights yet quickly start to seem mundane. After a massive brunch back at camp, we slowly headed out the park, and were treated to one final great sight – that of a mass of zebra (and occasional wildebeest) drinking at a waterhole.

I may not have managed to see the famed wildebeest migration in all it's glory, but otherwise I can't really complain, and in comparison to my Masai trip I much preferred it.

One of the small things I love about Africa in general, is just how colourful many of the the birds, insects and lizards are

We came across this family early on the second day, which included several baby elephants and the poor guy on the left, who is disabled (look at his trunk)

Top: Wildebeest on the plain, followed by hippos in the pool and serval monkeys playing, and (bottom) watching lions sleeping on the rock, who are just visible to the left of the rock by the tree

In what will rapidly become an extremely boring tradition, todays snippet of African news comes from another newspaper though i have forgotten which, but mentions that a big but struggling South African TV station has paid a huge sum of money to the grandson of Nelson Mandela for exclusive rights to the funeral of the great man, reasoning that coverage of the funeral will magically solve all the stations problems. Now whilst i know that he is not the youngest of people, I didn't think he was dead just yet, and buying funeral coverage for somebody still alive (and not even from the person in question) just seems very wrong to me.

Anyway.

I miss Fred

And there is nothing I can do about it as he is now enjoying constant attention, booze and saunas in Finland.

With thoughts of doom in my head, and increasingly not wanting to actually be involved in what I had just spent 540usd to do, we left Moshi just after a lucky break in the clouds had allowed me to see the summit Kilimanjaro towering over the town.

Though it was never clear enough to see in all it's glory, i did at least get to see the peak of Kilimanjaro sneaking through the clouds

My spirits were hardly raised when we collected the other 4 people on our tour: an American couple plus their daughter and her friend, and I discovered that (a) they were from Iowa – not necessarily a bad thing, but in my case there are 2 separate stories in the midsts of time there – and (b) the father, Jeff, had never before left the USA. I admit that a feeling of dread started to descend over me. The fact that they spent the next several hours pretty much discussing every college student and shopping mall in Iowa in great detail, and lots of religious discussion did not exactly help. Happily, I need not have worried. They all turned out to be really nice people, and the tour guide Simbo was also superb.

I actually enjoyed the tour. After driving to the small town of Manyara we set up camp and headed out to Lake Manyara National Park. The Lake takes up a fairly large proportion of the park, meaning the area to drive through is fairly compact. But it also has a good variety of wildlife, of which we saw lots: elephants, giraffes, buffalo, flamingo, antelope of various breeds, zebra and several species of monkey amongst much else. But what Lake Manyara NP is famous for is Tree Climbing Lions, which are very rare in the wild. Apparently, the lions climb trees up to 4 or 5metres in order to avoid being attacked by certain insects which proliferate around the alkaline lake.

And we saw some. They were great, though I am not sure I have ever seen animals looking quite so content and uncomfortable at the same time. Though obviously at ease with the tree, they were also resting with paws literally holding on for grim death: they reminded me of a small child who has happily climbed a tree without fear before suddenly looking down, realising what he has done and then refusing to move/climb down again, out of a massive sudden fear of falling.

Now, if only we can find that elusive giraffe climbing a tree, we'll be all sorted!

No, they are not tree climbing giraffes (sadly), but I liked them just the way they are. And with Fred awol, they are my only reminder of him

This family of baboons was over 100 strong, and walked in an extremely ordered fashion

This guy was happily standing by the side of the road until we approached, whereupon he embarked upon a great branch waving ceremony, seemingly solely for our entertainment

A view across Lake Manyara

In today's Daily Nation, probably the most serious of Kenya's English language daily newspapers, I came across two great stories from the nations students. In the first, they were protesting about a decision to reduce the semester by 2weeks, thus giving a longer summer break. In the second, a number of students walked out of an AIDS/HIV exam (apparently this is studied by all University students as part of their first year studies) in disgust because it was far too easy, and also included some recycled questions that they knew the answers to.

Neither article bears any relevance to the rest of this tale, but I was slightly tickled by the fact students were basically complaining that their courses were too easy and they were getting too much holiday: It's not something I can ever imagine British students doing, for example – There, almost certainly most would happily have completed the easy paper before gleefully retiring early to the pub/SU, happy in the knowledge they had gained two extra weeks boozing time.

Moving on.

The final part of my 4day jaunt was to Lake Nakuru National Park, and i must admit I enjoyed it significantly more than the Masai. Located in the Great Rift Valley about 5km south of Nakuru, Kenya's 4th biggest city, Lake Nakuru national park is quite small and compact, but includes a great deal and, crucially for me at least, is nowhere near as popular or famous as the Masai Mara. With Joseph still driving us around, we lost the two English guys and gained a Nigerian travel agent, and after a night in Nakuru city (where we watched Nigeria beat Kenya 3-0 in a World Cup 2010 qualifying match in a great atmosphere with lots of animated Kenyans, and Juba, our newly joined Nigerian, being extremely vocal at every goal without even a hint of trouble or bad blood in the air: I somehow doubt that, say, a loud German fan in a packed English pub during a 3-0 German victory over the English, would have escaped so lightly) we were ready to enter the park.

It was a glorious day, and a fruitful one. Nakuru is famous first and foremost for its flamingos, who's number is unknown but estimated at roughly 3million or so. Large chunks of the lake shore were a mass of pink and despite the presence nearby of buffalo, hyena and a white Rhino, we were able to get out and have a walk close to the flamingo. They seemed non plussed by our presence, but also casually moved away to ensure that we never got closer than about 50metres from the flock. The constant sound and interesting smell will long linger, whilst one of the highlights for me was the presence of small groups of 5-10 who periodically walked quickly up and down in the area between us and the flock, in a manner of beggers following a rich person (or safari touts following a white person) or outreach security patrols. It just looked funny.

In the 4 or 5 hours that we were in the park, we saw flamingo, pelicans, vultures, assorted birds of species that I have no knowledge of, several species of monkey and baboon, ostrich, warthogs, Rothschild giraffe, hyena, zebra, dik-dik and several other species of antelope as well as the 4 of the famed 'big 5'* that live in the park: Buffalo, Lions, Leopard and Rhino, both black and white.

At one point and almost entirely by luck, we were privileged to have 2 leopards mating a couple of hundred metres away on one side, and a black rhino a few hundred metres away to the other side. Two of the most sought after and elusive animals to see in the wild, and we could see both and were one of only two vehicles nearby watching. It was infinitely better than the hoards of the Masai.

The White and Black Rhino, so called because both of them are, erm, gray. The White Rhino (above) is generally lighter coloured, larger and has a large flat squarish mouth, whereas the very rare Black Rhino (below) is darker, smaller – but still big enough to cause serious damage to you or your vehicle if it gets p1sed off and decides to charge you – and has a rounder mouth

But the thing I loved more than anything else was the scenery. As well as the Lake and flat areas around its shores, there was grassland, forest, savanna, rocky outcrops, hills and a small escarpment – a whole range of different environments. On the rocky outcrops there were some gorgeous and stunningly coloured lizards (bright blue, often with red heads), whilst in the forests and on the plains were lots of absolutely brilliant trees: fantastic shapes, and colours, with many characterized by a wonderfully green coloured bark. I would have happily wandered or cycled around the park even if there had been not a single animal in it. About the only thing that was a bit off was that the park is so small that in places it felt more like a large open zoo than an open wildlife reserve, and so you weren't always convinced that the animals were truly 'living in the wild'. But after the Masai, i'm not really sure that I cared.

Happy, we then left the park for a quick stop at a curio shop that even by East African standards was impressively packed with assorted, well, curios, before having lunch and then parting from the excellent Rwandan/Tanzanian-German duo of Sam and Lena, who were heading off to Kampala. And with that, it was time to return to Nairobi and its traffic chaos, where certain medical 'professionals' and student doctors were awaiting me, ready to insert more long sharp pointy things into my arse again.

Traveling is such fun sometimes.

Vultures (though not of the same sort that tracked the Leopard in my previous post) attack the carcass of a recently deceased Buffalo. Lake Nakuru National Park had a surprising number of large bones scattered around

• The 'big 5', is a slightly strange concept that doesn't really have any modern relevance, but which is still mentioned endlessly in guide books, and peddled relentlessly by tour operators, t-shirt sellers and touts right across East Africa. For the record, the Big 5 comprises Elephant, Rhino, Buffalo, Lions and Leopards, and originally stems from the time when tourists were rare and the only visitors were rich colonial hunters: the Big 5 was a hunting term, and rich Americans and Europeans came to Africa with sole intention of tracking and killing what were considered to be the 5 largest/most impressive animals, and whose heads, tusks, horns or skin was brought back to their homes and mounted (or turned into rugs, in the case of the leopard) as trophies. Even today, to many tourists their Safari (in the western sense, as opposed to the actually Kiswahili meaning of 'travel' or 'journey') is not complete without spotting/ticking off the big 5, even though Buffalo at the very least are not that rare, exciting or hard to spot. And just what Giraffe, Cheetahs and Hippo, amongst others, think of their exclusion from what people are told that they really want to see, is anybodies guess.

Top to bottom, a family of warthog oddly standing to attention, a Rothschild Giraffe eating, two Lions resting under a tree, and two monkeys, the bottom of whom really did seem pleased to see us...

It was whilst watching the leopard that I realised that I hated the Masai Mara.

With the news that I probably wouldn't be able to finally leave Nairobi until late July or early August (another 6-8weeks or so), i was not necessarily the happiest of campers for a while. But the news that I would have to return about weekly for that period did at least mean that I could attempt to do other things for 4 or 5days a week between hospital appointments. And with that, i pretty much got out of Nairobi as fast as my legs could carry me, or more relevantly, as fast as the Nairobbery traffic would allow. Which is how I ended up in the Masai Mara.

When we first arrived in Nairobi and before I had given in and gone to hospital, we had arranged to do a 4day-3night trip to the Masai Mara and Lake Nakuru. It soon became apparent that i wouldn't be able to go but Maaret headed off anyway on the first of her blatant abandonments of me, and seemed to have enjoyed her trip. And so on hearing the news that I had a few days before i needed to be back being violated by medical 'professionals', for want of any better ideas I had inquired if the same trip – or any other – would be possible. 24hours later, i was in the Masai Mara.

To be honest, i was happy just being somewhere which was not Nairobi and would have happily settled on stopping in the first random town we passed through. But the Masai Mara? Great, I thought, despite my normal impeccable timing which mean't that i was ahead of the famed wildebeest migration by barely 3weeks. After getting to camp, we – two English guys just out of university, and a really cool Rwandan/Tanzanian-German couple, plus our enthusiastic if quiet driver/guide Joseph – headed out on an evening game drive. And it was pretty good. We saw an assortment of 'normal' animals – a couple of giraffe, zebra, assorted antelopes, non-migratory wildebeest, and buffalo – before spotting a couple of lions away on the hill and later coming across 3 cheetah taking in the late afternoon sun. It was whilst we were watching that I first started to wonder: we had been informed of the cheetahs over the radio, and 6 or 7 other vehicles were in attendance. But I didn't pay too much attention.

The rest of the drive consisted of us trying to help out 2 vehicles who got stuck (as all were 2wheel drive minibuses, it was the old fashioned way: we all got out to push and get covered in wheel spin-mud), then getting lucky and seeing 2lions walk past us close by in the twilight, stalking a large group of buffalo – and a third coming out of trees a few hundred metres away - before we then got well and truly stuck. And so, in deep mud in the increasingly pitch black and less than 500m from where we had seen lions hunting, we all had to get out and push. And push some more. And then a final time. And then sit in dark bus for ages awaiting somebody to come and pull us out. By the time we finally got back, we were almost 2hours late, and had spent most of our time either stuck, or helping somebody who was stuck.

Top, one of the pride of lions lazing in the grass, part of the herd of buffalo, and a happy couple - male and female buffalo – staring at us

The following day was an all-dayer. It started well: barely 30minutes in, and we came across a pride of lions (at least 8 male lions, spread through the bushes, two of whom were enjoying a small buffalo snack) who we watched for a while. We then passed through a large herd of buffalo – who were nonchalantly enjoying the grass and sun barely 500m away from the resting lions. I must admit that I hope that I never piss off a buffalo, as if one of them charges you (or your vehicle or house), it won't end prettily. We then spent several hours driving through the rolling savanna, seeing pretty much nothing except for the occasional elephant: in one 90minute period, in one of the most densely populated game parks in the world we saw not a single animal (excepting humans). We also got stuck once, had to help other stuck vehicles twice and 30minutes were spent futiley (i'm pretty sure that isn't a word, but I like it anyway) searching for a black rhino that was rumoured to be around.

After a short deviation into Tanzania (the Masai Mara is part of the Serengeti, separated only by the political border which is of no real relevance in the park) we reached the Masai river and had lunch, before taking a bit of a wander nearby through a more furtile animal area: zebra, masai giraffe, assorted antelope, some mongooses (mongeese?) and in the distance in the river, a number of hippo. Then, it was back through the empty savanna for a few hours, with variety again supplied by the occasional elephant, breakdown and other minivans getting stuck.

And then there was the leopard.

Almost back at camp, and close to where we had seen the lions the previous evening there was a bit of a commotion. At first we thought it was just a lion or two (we could see one wandering in the distance), but then word came over the radio of a leopard. At first we saw nothing, but then an occasional waving tail and the leopard climbed into a tree. To begin with, people kept a respectable distance. But then, with more vehicles arriving every minute, we all started to close in, driving off road and destroying the vegetation in the quest for the best view. By the time it climbed out of the tree 8 or 9 minutes later and started walking towards the long grass a couple of hundred metres away, the poor animal was pretty much surrounded. It more or less had to pick his way through the hoardes of watching minibuses.

The leopard

By the time it crossed the road and headed into the longer grass (and an area where no driving was allowed, to aid recovery), there were 8 minibuses within about 5metres of the poor animal, and no fewer than 37 vehicles nearby watching it, with a dozen or so others in view rushing to the scene. Though i admit that I was happy (and lucky) to see a leopard and to get such a good view, I hated myself – and all of them – for being so intrusive and not letting the poor animal have some kind of privacy. The problem, i realised was a combination of the radio linkage between all the vans, and also the terrain: lots of gently rolling grassland and only limited areas of higher vegetation means that you have a pretty good visibility, and it is easy to spot other minibuses, especially when there are more than one stopped and thus see where something has been spotted, and so go and investigate.

The leopard crossing the path, and (below) some of the minibuses surrounding it

My mood was not helped that evening by the sighting of several herds of cows being grazed illegally by the Masai warriors (they are not allowed to graze them in the inner part of the park), and then the constant hard nosed sell-sell-sell by the Masai villagers back at camp (as well as certain, erm, personal comfort issues that I had). The following morning we went on an early game drive, but by then my heart was really not in it. We saw some hyena attacking the remains of an elephant we were told had died 3months previously, a lioness, and some normal animals before I spotted 3lions lying in the grass off to one side. Joseph brought us up close, and for a few minutes were the only ones nearby, but inevitably, he had made the call and a couple of minutes later there were a dozen buses all around and more converging by the minute. Two cheetahs we came upon shortly afterwards were treated the same way, and pretty much chased away into the bushes: by then, the others in our bus were also pleading with Joseph to leave the poor animals alone and so we pealed off and slowly and without incident made our way back for breakfast.

A couple of shots from the final morning's game drive

Leaving the Mara, it was an odd feeling. It was undoubtedly a beautiful place, although not quite as I had expected. And there had been some undoubted highlights: the pride of lions on day 2, and seeing the leopard – the first i had ever seen. But the constant hard-sell by the Masai people, and especially, the shame and almost anger I felt for being so intrusive (even though I knew I was part of the problem) to the poor leopard and then the 2 cheetahs more than outweighed that, and I was definitely happy to leave.

One of the worlds great game reserves and tourist attractions it undoubtedly is, but sadly i don't think it will be somewhere that I will look back with great fondness.

There is very little that is as frustrating being stuck somewhere sick when you are away traveling. Though you have the support and sympathy of other travelers and passers by, they are by nature transient people and not around much. You keep having to explain exactly what is wrong, and of course, you are basically stuck. And stuck somewhere not of your own choosing. Whilst I was at least in a decent hostel which was friendly and at least allowed some interaction with others (unlike the hotels and guest houses which had been the norm for the previous few weeks), it was still a hostel in the suburbs of a city I didn't know, and a fairly empty one to boot. My world is pretty much down to the hostel, hospital and taxi's between the two: my every movement is carefully calculated so that I am never far (in distance or time) from my constant current companion, the toilet. I am spending so long around certain toilets, that if I were married (those that know certain episodes from my past: Shut it) it could be used a grounds for divorce.

I like to think that I am a fairly patient person: If it takes you 3days to travel somewhere that you could fly in 3hours, you pretty much have to be. But after a week or so looking at the same walls and wishing there was paint drying that I could watch, and with Maaret briefly back and a cheery Northerner Johnny also onboard, a plan was hatched. And so it was that one Saturday morning, and after some very careful, erm, comfort-stop calculations, we went in search of Giraffe's.

Though not the cheapest, and, to be fair, a fairly limited amount of options and activities to be undertaken, I loved the giraffe park. Even more, I loved the smell of fresh air (and giraffe sh1t, but mostly air) and actually being pretty much anywhere else for the first time in a week.

I like Giraffe's.

Especially when you get to do things like this:

And this:

And whilst, sadly, I was too sick to even contemplate attempting it, of course this:

....Although Fred, as a gay giraffe, was somewhat disappointed that he didn't receive more attention than he did:

Happily covered in giraffe slime (Giraffe saliva is possibly the most gunky thing that I have come across since the bad old days of Noel Edmunds gunking people, a memory which oddly persists from TV in my much younger days) and comfort-breaked yet again, we then made a quick beeline to the Nairobi National Park Animal Sanctuary and more comfort break comfort.

The Animal sanctuary was odd. To be fair, I was increasingly in trouble by this point and so not as focused as I could have been, but for some reason I just found it mildly depressing. Yes, there were animals, and a full range of cats, including things like the Caracol ((XXXX spelling XXXX)) that I have never seen before. But it just didn't seem right. We were able to go into a Cheetah pen for a bit, but later discover that was only because the boss wasn't looking, and would we 'please show our appreciation' to the guards. There was one monkey who did a great Grinch impression, and another who had escaped and amused himself by rattling the outside of the enclosure he had escaped from – to the irritation of the remaining inmates – and taking grass from tourists. But even though it was feeding time, i think the thing that really showed how interested I was in the place was that the animals i spent most time watching, weren't even attractions:

Yup, I went to an animal sanctuary and spent as much of my time looking at Dung-beetles as anything else. Hmmmm. Still, at least I had made it out of my own miserable enclosure for a few hours. With luck,i may be allowed out on a leash again in a week's time.

I haven't had a sign picture for some time. This isn't a classic, but it marks the return of a n old favourite of my blogs