Chizi

Chizumulu is small, relaxed, friendly, and home to what I can only describe as the most bizarre and inventive set of 'Give me kids' in Malawi. I didn't do much on Chizi: I relaxed a bit, played numerous games of Backgammon and the worryingly addictive Bao. I wandered around the entire circumference of the Island (and yes, if Nose, Fester, Baz or one or two others happen to be reading this, there is a very old joke in there somewhere), collecting kids pied piper style, excepting the lack of music.

But the kids on Chizi were creative to say the least: One kid of about 7 told me long and in great detail about his long struggle, and great jihad he is currently undertaking against his T-shirt (showing me the holes in the T-shirt's back here he had had some victories) to the endless amusement of some of the other kids. I was also bombarded with 'Give me's', which ranged from the normal (money, pen, sweet etc) to the cheeky (Give me cellphone) to the surreal: Give me Grandma, Give me Big Issue and Give me Vagina being the 3 most memorable, though I'm not entirely sure which is my favourite.

About the only other thing that we did was buy and slaughter a goat. And he was pretty damned tasty.

Billy, out goat, before, during and after...